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Intro Post

  This was originally a fic index, but it was horribly out of date and I knew it was never, ever going to get updated. So now it's an intro post! I'd have just deleted it but there are comments and I can't bear to delete conversations, ever. So, use this space to introduce yourself. Let me know why you're here, how you found me, what in particular made you decide to friend/watch me. You know, that sort of thing. Or, if you have any questions or just want to chat, well, that works too.
So one of the things that's really important to me with Hope and the Dark Destroyer is making it clear that with all of my villains, regardless of their motives and their backstories and no matter how sympathetic they are, all of them made the conscious decision that "it doesn't matter how many people get hurt, as long as I get what I want". Whether what they want is a chance to lash out, a need to feel powerful, material gain, or just wanting to cause pain, for all of them it was a conscious decision. They knew what they were doing.

And like. Sure, some of them were talked into it. But none of them were forced into it, and for the ones that get redemptions arcs (several, some for plot-relevant reasons and some just because of how the third arc-on villain works), it's always because they chose to change.

And this is really important to me.

(Have I told y'all about Hope/Dark?)
At some point over the past week my Tumblr went from "occasional reaction posts about Lazytown, which I watch while playing Pokemon" to just a Lazytown blog. My blog is so very Lazytown. How did this happen.

On the bright side, I have two fanfics being written. One is a deage fic that is about halfway done, the other is birthday-party fic that I'm writing for a friend of mine, and probably won't be that long.

Also, I'm super gay for Sportacus. Yesterday I officially crossed from "lol jokes about how sexy he is" to laying my head on my desk and repeating "he's so cute????? he's just so cute" over a twenty second video my friend sent me of Magnus answering an interview question so I officially have it bad. Why is he so cute. Who authorized this.

Are any of my lj peeps into Lazytown?

Nov. 4th, 2016

You really should have talked to me when I was having that breakdown, hon.

Because now I've had time to stew over the fact that you waited till I was having a breakdown to tell me that you needed space. That you ignored me just trying to find out what you needed. That you went off on my friend for trying to help. That you acted like that one, small, five second courtesy was too much to ask. That you've left me hanging for six fucking days because I said I didn't share your headcanon. That you put words in my mouth. That you are, quite frankly, treating me like absolute shit for what amounts to a reasonable mistake that I fucking apologized for immediately.

You should have come and talked to me when I was having that breakdown. Because now I can't promise that I'll be there to listen when you've decided I've waited long enough.

(Except I probably will. And I'm not sure which I'd hate myself for more.)
I will say this, of all the storylines I'm looking forward to this season, I'm really looking forward to how Yang's recovery from losing her arm will go. I trust RT, I honestly do, and I'm really hoping that trust won't be misplaced.

See, right now she's still in the depression part. She went through a hecka traumatic experience (and then a little more trauma just to put the cherry on the cake), the season opener has made it clear she's suffering from PTSD, and everything we've been shown in trailers and the opener (we're two episodes in, hers won't likely be till next or next-next episode, since she's the Y- depends on if they combine her with Blake to save time) that her recovery is still in the pretty early stages.

Which is understandable! The v3 finale was brutal, even the fandom is still recovering. It's completely understandable that, as of right now, she's barely started recovering.

But I also know that Kerry and Miles are good writers. And I know that they've proven time and again that they're willing to handle delicate subjects carefully. I trust them. I trust them to give me a story of Yang recovering and becoming someone new, not her old self because that's not how it works, but someone who has been through hell and come out the other end still strong and still smiling.

Now if the fandom could shut up about how her not being given a cool robot arm five seconds after losing her real one is "illogical" and "unfair", I'd be really well pleased.

Everything is all that I love about you

My mom has started going to this new church and a lot of her new church friends are vegetarians, so she's started experimenting with vegetarian cooking so she can feed them at church events (which is cool of her). She's also finding that there are lots of vegetarian recipes that meet her weirdly specific dietary requirements (my mom has health problems coming out the wazoo), so she's started incorporating them into her own diet for health reasons.

I was teasing her last night because she was saying it advised not going off of meat immediately because it would shock your system if you did.

"Yeah, my system would be pretty shocked if I stopped feeding it meat too."
"It'd demand to know what was going on."
"What are you doing."
"Why are you like this."
"Please just give me a pork chop."
"Theo please."
I may have had a small breakdown on Tumblr

Talk about embarrassing
My favorite thing about Mercury's fanbase is that it's the least toxic part of the RWBY fandom. And I mean, this isn't a high bar to clear anyway but like... Mercury fans are one thousand percent prepared to admit their fave is garbage, and half the humor about him is jokes about dunking him headfirst into the trash where he belongs.

But we also cry over his backstory and are absolutely sure that the problem lies heavily with Cinder and Salem, and long for a redemption arc because we want him to have better.

We have no problem admitting what a garbage fuckboy he is. We just want him to get recycled.

I'm a neon rainbow and you're no fun

Here's the thing about Jay Branwen:

He caused harm, yes. His bitter attitudes toward his own brother are part of the reasons for his nephew's self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy beside his sister. Qrow never felt badly that Raven was the heir, but because of Jay he always felt like he should.

But Jay doesn't know that. It's not like he sat Qrow down repeatedly and told him "hey you should be bitter". He always admired how close Qrow and Raven were, admired the way Qrow could be so devoted to Raven and not resent her for getting their birthright instead of him.

No, he never meant to drive Qrow to self-loathing and bitterness. He just got so caught up in his own head that he never realized his young nephew was picking up on his feelings of resentment to his brother and applying them to himself and his sister.

And I can't possibly imagine why a character like that would be so important to me, or why I would want to write him.

Oct. 31st, 2016

Because if I don't, I'll say

Sometimes that headcanon helps them deal with the shit in their own head, why is yours any more important?

Because I'll say, I didn't belittle or mock you or call your headcanon stupid, so why are you acting like I did?

Because I'll say, I spent six damn months trying to make that headcanon work for me because I knew how much it mattered to you and hated that I couldn't love it too.

Because I'll say, I've rewritten entire story arcs for you, abandoned fics I wanted to write for the fics you wanted to read, left behind ocs that meant the world to me because you admitted you hated their archetype, rewrote an oc that I sympathized with because your first reaction to me telling you about him was "stab him" and then "intent doesn't change the harm caused" when I pointed out that his actions had been accidental.

Because I'll say, you mean the world to me and seeing you happy is all I want, and it's tearing me up inside that you're upset with me but it also hurts that you'd vague about your headcanons being belittled when I tried so damn hard to love them.

Because this morning you vagued about adoring me and I can't even begin to understand why, after I hurt you so badly, you could still feel anything positive about me at all.

Because I can never say these things, because they'll make things worse, because I hate myself even more for feeling like a victim when I was wrong, because you have every right to be upset and I know you'll be okay with me again, maybe soon, and we can put this behind us.

Because I want you to like me again, and I'm afraid if I say anything right now you won't.

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